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Important English lesson with special prize at the end

Ton Ton moved to the United States from Venezuela when he was in his late teens and, even thought he is now totally fluent in English, there are certain words he has trouble pronouncing. Like beach and girl and, most recently, culture. Cool-tore? Coal-ter? Cold-cher? Ugh! English phonetics are so hard!

He also sometimes mangles names and phrases. For example, in Ton Ton’s world, the movie is “Midnight in the Good and Evil Garden” the pizza place “Yellow Mushroom” and the lyrics, “…where the girls are green and the grass is pretty.”

The best part, however, is when he makes up his own lexicon. One of Ton Ton’s favorites is the term “cheaty” as in, “that guy drives a really cheaty car.” Some people think he’s mispronouncing shitty, but in reality, the word cheaty is an innovative hybrid that describes something that’s cheap and shitty at the same time. Editors of Merrian-Webster Dictionary, take note!

Anyway, since they don’t teach these things in ESL, he’s always on the hear-out for new idioms and phrases to add to his vocabulary and put to good use. For example, when I explained to him the meaning of “camel toe” he made it his mission to point out every single one we encountered for several months.

Toward the end of my pregnancy, he timely discovered a new word that quickly climbed up his list of favorites.

We were watching the movie Along came Polly — you know how Ton Ton feels about cheesy chick flicks — and Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character said, “I just sharted.” Before he could hear the next line in the film, which gives the definition of a shart, Ton Ton was all, “Sharted?? What does that mean?”

So I explained:

He thought it was the most amazing word he had ever heard and was wildly excited when, a few weeks later, our son provided him the opportunity to use it over and over and over. Seriously, if you type the word “shart” in the search box for this blog, you will get eight different entries. What can I say? I only write about meaningful and transcendent matters.

Every time Luki launched one of his poop missiles, Ton Ton felt the need to share it with someone just so that he could use his new word. “My kid keeps sharting!” he would tell his buddies on the phone. “Shart. Do you know what that means?”

And so, when the people at CafePress contacted me about doing a giveaway on this blog and I saw that they sold shart themed tees, I just knew I had to participate.

CafePress has millions of personalized items for any interest, topic, or brand you can dream of. I, obviously, had to start with flatulence, but plan to buy the Got Arepas? and Blog Star onesies for Luki in the near future.

Now, here’s the fun part! CafePress has generously offered to give away a pair of t-shirts (one adult and one child) to a lucky reader. All you have to do is

  • 1) Be or become a fan of Everybody Loves Baby Blog on Facebook
  • 2) Comment on this post with the phrase (in any language) or image you’d like on your shirts.
  • 3)And, even though I can’t technically check this, keep voting for this blog at the Top Baby Blogs website.

You can leave as many comments as you want between now and Sunday, March 14 at 12:00 p.m.  (noon). On Sunday afternoon, I’m going to call my 86 year old grandma who lives in Miami, doesn’t speak English, and has no idea that the Internet exists to ask her to pick a number between one and however many comments I get. I will announce the winner on Monday morning.

I can assure you, there is nothing cheaty about this contest or the products CafePress sells.

Good Luck!

**For more chances to win CafePress tees, also leave a comment on this great blog!

27 Responses to “ Important English lesson with special prize at the end ”

  1. Kristina says:

    I voted for you!

  2. Kristina says:

    I would totally love the one that says ” I STILL LIVE WITH MY PARENTS”
    they are allll so cute.
    i just spent the last hour looking through all the shirts

  3. Aivel says:

    You see! You got me addicted to your blog….. No nice ; ) …. Thank you for sharing with us your hilarious moments…
    como dice Randy! jajajaja i’m a fan…. lmao

  4. Adriana says:

    It’s perfectly logical No = Yes

  5. Nunya says:

    this post is anything but cheaty … and i love the Ts at cafe press. i really want the PImp shirt (PI as in 3.14)!!! thanks for the exciting opportunity to win an awesome shirt!

  6. Elvira says:

    Aunque el tema tratado no es de mi agrado, creo que escribes muy bien. Mereces estar en el primer lugar.

  7. jocelyn says:


  8. jocelyn says:


  9. jocelyn says:

    Luchando un pulovito para mi sobrino, jejeje. Pobrecito.

  10. Casey says:

    I would like a onesie that says I heart Zombies. I’m fully intending to pass my unhealthy love of zombie movies to my child. PS ~ Don’t tell my husband because it might scare him 😛

  11. allie says:

    I just added Everybodylovesbaby on Facebook…102 followers? Yay!

  12. allie says:

    Holy crap they have a lot of shirts…I can’t pick just two and definitely just spent a BUNCH of time looking at all of them. They have everything. You can even get a “I <3 Heroin" shirt for a BABY! Everything! I think I'd get a WA state shirt, we are all from there and Henry still has no way to represent!

  13. allie says:

    Voting for you (of course!) I’m so glad to see how far you’ve moved up the blog list over at Top Baby. You’re posts are always exciting and sometimes quite moving to read…you totally deserve it! Also, thanks for the lovely comments you’ve left me.

    Good luck!

  14. carlos says:

    Mi últtima palabra: Si, mi amor. Dijo la Camiseta

  15. Heather says:

    My sister sharts when she jogs!

  16. Arantxa says:

    mamma you rock!

  17. jocelyn says:


  18. Sam says:

    “PINCHE GRINGO”, or maybe “Ailen wrote a blog and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt”

  19. Kmoney says:

    Since there is sharting involved during the birthing of babies, it seems only fair the good times continue after they’re here.

    i want my shirt to say “why won’t you let me be great?” with a sad little stick figure on it.

  20. sally says:

    those shirts are fanfreakingtastic.

  21. slave to the vibe says:

    21 is lucky! i hope i will be, too.

  22. Kmoney says:

    i’m the only comment that has a nifty little ‘Stay Away From Me, Stork’ picture on it! i deserve to win for that alone!

  23. jocelyn says:


  24. ABU says:

    Pero nadie como su ABU

  25. AALAP says:

    My vote is for the “New Moon Jacob Black” onesie…. No, I kid you…. seriously, I kid you.

  26. AALAP says:

    Ok, so my fave is the Invisible Ninja onesie: “I’m a ninja. (you can’t see me.)” And also I love your abuela and Cafe Press. (You should read these comments to your grandma too, and then tell her to pick.)

  27. Catalina says:

    Adult shirt:

    Beer is Good
    Babies are Better

    Child shirt:

    That’s what she said!