Dear Luki,

We didn’t know whether you were a boy or a girl until you came out and told us. Surprises are nice, but the main reason I convinced your dad to not find out your sex was because I was afraid we’d get inundated in a sea of pink, frilly dresses if the ultrasound revealed you were female. And I’m really not into pink. Or frilly.

I’ve never been a very typical girl. When I was little, I preferred to stack blocks and read books than to play dress-up. And now that I’m big, I hardly ever wear make up, avoid high heeled shoes at all costs, and don’t own any real jewelry except for my wedding ring.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting gussied up every once in a while (and sometimes I wish I knew how to put on make up and walk in heels so that people would stop confusing me for a high school student), but the thing is, I’ve never felt like I needed to do any of that stuff to feel pretty.

Growing up, I heard your grandpa tell his wife that she was beautiful every single day. It didn’t matter what she was wearing. It didn’t matter how much she weighed, or if she was sick. It didn’t matter if she cut her hair or grew it out, or decided to stop dying it. She was always beautiful.

And so was I.

Every time your grandma and I went shopping, we’d come home and try on everything we’d bought in front of your grandpa. He would watch us with genuine interest and sing our praises. Always.

Nothing ever made us look fat. Every color complemented us perfectly. And, if we were worried that we’d paid too much for something, his answer was unequivocal: we were worth it.

A few days ago, I bought a new dress. I tried it on at home before going to sleep one night, looked at myself in the mirror, and felt beautiful in it. And as I took it off and put on my pajamas (a pair of your dad’s boxer shorts and an old stained college t-shirt with a hole on its left sleeve), I felt beautiful as well.

Tell the women in your life that they’re pretty every single day, Luki. It’s the only thing they’ll need to always feel that way.

Love,

Mom