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Your grandpa was awesome! Week #42

Dear Luki,

My birthday is Sunday and for the first time in my life, I am not that excited. I usually love my birthday. LOVE IT. I celebrate the entire month of October. I send out emails with suggestions for possible presents. And I ask for several festivities in my honor (one with friends, one with family, a dinner, a lunch, a happy hour, etc.). This year, I haven’t done any of that. I’m not sure what’s going, but this is a completely unrecognizable side of me.

Maybe 27 is the age when you stop caring. The age after which you have to stop and think about how old you are when someone asks you. Maybe I’ve reached the point where only the “big” birthdays will matter from now on. You know, 30, 40, etc.

Or maybe it’s because I know that no birthday will ever top the one I had two years ago. The one in which I peed on the stick that announced your arrival. At the time I was way more freaked out than excited, but now, in hindsight, those two pink lines are the best present I could have ever asked for.

But probably it’s because this will be my first birthday without your grandpa. And even though many days have passed since his death, the important days are always the hardest. And the fact that I won’t get an early morning phone call from him on Sunday is incredibly difficult to process. He used to be one of the first people who’d call me. Usually waking me up with his rendition of happy birthday over the phone.

If you look at old pictures of your grandpa, pictures from his wedding day or from when your uncle Ani and I were really small, you’ll notice that he had a big mustache. The night before my 10th birthday I asked him to shave it as my present. I’d never seen him without it and wanted to know what he’d look like. That morning, in my dreamlike state, I could barely recognize the man who woke me up with a birthday cheer. He’d shaved it and his face looked so different! I told him how much I loved his new, clean, fresh look and after that, he never grew it back.

It’s a silly little story, I know. But telling it just now made me realize that your grandpa permanently changed his appearance simply because I asked him to. For my birthday.

And that realization — and its underlying lesson about what it means to be a good parent — makes a pretty good present for my 27th.



2 Responses to “ Your grandpa was awesome! Week #42 ”

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